Sometimes I don't know how to pray. I mean, I try, but the words won't come out. Or if they do, they aren't the right ones or are only half-hearted, or don't actually make that much sense. I find this is usually the case when I'm praying for something hard. Well, especially when I'm still in denial and having a hard time accepting it.
I don't particularly enjoy when my faith gets tested, and when someone basically tells me to either shrink down to stand behind my beliefs, no matter the cost. Quite frankly, I find it unnerving, scary even.
I've been thinking a lot about why I feel I don't fit in, why I feel like I'm at a crossroads between two places, and I'm one of the few who meets in the middle. But I realized, at the heart of any cross (whether it be a road, an X or a t), Christ is right in the middle. I don't feel as if we're young enough to belong to 'youth group' types, yet not mature enough to belong to the married club. I just don't quite fit. So I guess I'd better just keep digging right in the middle of that cross, deeper into Jesus.
It's amazing just how relevant the Bible really is. I opened to one book and found no less than five messages I needed to hear. And it wasn't as if I was searching high and low for them. They just... found me. When I needed them the most. But that's the way God works, he lets you find Him when you need Him most. Or, He just picks you up and carries you through it.
I don't love Justin Bieber. But I'm learning to respect him. Because of this. http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=76LGD7NX
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